"God don’t bless a clock-eyed church" And, no, I don’t have the scripture to back that up. It’s never a good sign with that’s the first phrase uttered in a staff meeting. Continue reading Clock-eyed
…They say they’re going to open up the baseball field at 7:30 for kids. You know, with all those blow up toys that kids can jump on. Plus, there’s going to be a bunch o’ people camping out to make sure they get their tickets… …There’s also gonna be that triathalon thing. They gonna start … Continue reading Big happenings in Duncan
Overheard from parents waiting for children at school… I don’t care how good the team is, or whose paying for it. Ain’t no high school football player needs a $10,000 scoreboard. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was closer to $300,000. Continue reading Jumbotron
Some of our Nextel phones are deactivated for personnel that don’t work over the summer. Hence, the following conversation… School administrator: Has my phone been reactivated? Maintenance: It should be. These were turned back on last week. Why don’t you turn it on and see if you get a signal? School administrator: OK, let me … Continue reading Cool phone! No, really!
Is there any mayonaise involved? Heard completely out of context outside a London Theatre, spoken with an American accent. Continue reading Mayonaise?
So, do you have any plans to travel for the Fourth? No, I’m was on vacation last week, and I’m heading to London in a couple of weeks. I’ve never wanted to go to London or any other place in Europe. I’ve only been to the Holey Land. (Vain attempt is made to disguise eye-rolling … Continue reading River Jordan
Heard over the intercom… Assistance needed in the blind cutting area, Assistance needed in the blind cutting area. How nice! Lowes provides a special cutting area just for blind people. Continue reading Blinded by the…
I’ve always been more into texture than flavor. I couldn’t eat shrimp for years because I thought it was too much like what eating human flesh would feel like. You learn the strangest things about your coworkers at conferences. Continue reading Would that be broiled or fried?
Setting: Chorale Rehearsal Situation: Going over articulation and places to breathe in Daniel Gawthrop’s "Behold This Mystery." Text: Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Not suffering or distress, not famine or nakedness, not peril or sword. Singer – "Do you break after nakedness?" Me – "Well, quite frequently, but that’s really none … Continue reading A Bit Too Personal
Dirt, Dirt, Dirt People are always moving it. We walk on it and live on it, but nobody ever seems satisfied with the dirt they got. People are always taking the dirt they have and moving it somewhere else. I assume this outburst was prompted by a dump truck that was passing by. However, I’ve … Continue reading Dirt